The Short Story

I am a California native, born in Berkeley, raised in Los Angeles. Today I am 55 years old and I am thankful that I am basically who I wanted to be when I was a kid.

I am a singer/songwriter currently based in Portugal, re-releasing music I made many years ago; I will be making and releasing new music in the near future. 

My story is unusual, both personally and as it relates to the music industry. Yet my story most likely speaks to many other artists, coming from an emotionally painful background and seeking a place to belong in an industry they don’t really understand. 

In the end, I am still standing because music is a force within itself, and I am fortunate enough to have a real love there. 
 

The Long Story

This is the actualization of a dream, 30 years in the making. In June of 1996, I decided at the age of 24 to become a singer/songwriter. When I started out, all I wanted was major label success; but I never figured out the game.

I was really upset about that for a long time. After 25 years of trying, I finally decided to stop torturing myself and explore other options. It’s taken 5 years to unlearn and learn, to rewire my brain and establish a 180° shift in my mindset. Changing the way I saw the music industry was a major component of my midlife situation.

No, I did not think it would take this long to see my dreams come true; every year found me working on new projects, thinking and hoping that would be my year. Sometimes not getting what you want when you want it is a blessing. Timing is a mysterious and powerful thing. For all of my projects and efforts, for whatever reason, this year everything has come together; an intersection of my own personal development, my artistic growth and the amazing state of technology as it pertains to independent artists.

Some of us are born to parents who see us as individuals and encourage our dreams. Some of us are born to parents who have very strong personalities and see us primarily as extensions of themselves; they mean well and want the best for us as they discourage us from following our hearts. Our lives become about forging a path forward independent of parental support, holding onto our dreams regardless of what they want and expect. We forgo the safety of parental approval for the satisfaction of being true to ourselves. That’s me. That’s my story. 

I love music with all my heart and I could never let go. Not when family insisted I would be better off just getting a job that would offer financial security. Not when the music industry showed no interest whatsoever in my talent. Not when my own personal demons filled me with doubts and fears. Not when the conventional wisdom of the world told me I was too old to seriously consider that I had a shot. I could never let go, I could never give up, because music is my life. Music pretty much keeps me alive.

But for a long time, I confused music with the music industry. I was raised on the music industry. I believed in it, I studied it, I loved it; my primary goal in life, for most of my life, was to be a part of it. It just never happened. While I was still trying, the world changed and the industry changed, and then the unthinkable happened: I realized what I really wanted from the industry had more to do with a misplaced desire for family, attention and security, and that I had been incredibly naive about the inner workings of the industry, and ultimately I came to realize that I wanted no part of any of it. I was a woman without an artistic home or direction; I was broken, scared, confused and lost. 

I had never seriously considered being an independent artist because I so loved the idea of being a part of the industry. I have worked diligently to convince myself that I could be happy and succeed as an independent. That is my primary intention now; to show myself that I can succeed on my own terms. 

With freedom comes responsibility; there are many reasons why a record deal is still a thing, one of which being that they do a lot of shit that most artists don’t want to do. But I’m gonna go all in and see what happens. 

If you are interested in what I am doing, what I am about, and you decide to join me as things unfold, I’m going to give you things to enjoy and things to think about. My intention is to make your life better by sharing with you my love of music and my love of life. 

Welcome to my dream. 

Namaste